Translated by Claude from the Chinese original.

Late at night, taking a hot shower alone, hiding behind the bathroom curtain, as if hiding in a greenhouse—or perhaps a petri dish. Not wanting to stop the water, not wanting to leave this enclosed space. I feel so much pressure. At times like these, I often do things to relieve stress and anxiety, but the process of relief wastes time, which only adds to my anxiety. Being a programmer often means facing such situations. The imagined life is filled with glamorous phrases like “financial freedom,” but in reality, we’re stuck in the daily grind.

I suddenly remembered a phrase I once read: “Think more about how to build the product, less about how to be a product manager.” I think this can be extended to programming: “Think more about how to write programs, less about how to be a programmer.” That’s right—you don’t need to become a programmer, spending most of your day staring at a screen with swollen eyes. Your body gradually becoming out of shape, wanting to exercise but never finding the time. An increasingly rigid, mechanical way of thinking, and less and less contact with people. The ideal is beautiful, but reality is so disappointing. After all, programmers of the previous era had so many opportunities for financial freedom. So many stories of wealth creation, even world-changing tales, happened to programmers. But that era has passed. We can only watch its afterglow as the sun slowly sets.

Recently, while preparing to change jobs, I discovered that the interview prep materials are full of things I don’t know. It’s hard not to feel anxious. And I noticed that even summarizing interview prep has become someone’s thriving side business and personal brand. Envy and jealousy—these are negative emotions programmers often have. You wonder why that person is better than you; why they can work so hard while you can’t; why some things come naturally to them but not to you. The longing for opportunities and uncertainty makes this industry exciting. It inflates your jealousy endlessly, making you believe that through effort you can gain infinitely, even making you feel that the distance between yourself and the world, between yourself and your dreams, is constantly shrinking. But is that really true? We always have all kinds of pressure. Society has developed quite a stereotypical image of programmers. How I wish there wasn’t so much overtime. How I wish life could be easy while also becoming a great developer, showing off online and being envied by others.

With such desires, the work of a programmer can feel cold and abstract. Exceptional comprehension, even wisdom, yet losing so much rich emotion. Life becomes increasingly monotonous, even childish.

Why did I choose to become a programmer? After finishing my shower, I looked at the night sky outside the window and asked myself. I think it was the inspiration and sentiment from various startup stories, and also a love for abstraction. A program is essentially a simpler language, yet with this language we can describe all kinds of problems and solutions in the world. Language is so important—just as I’m writing this article in Chinese right now. Language—when we discuss programming, what are we really discussing? We discuss programming itself: how code abstracts reality, how to design, what makes a good or bad design. But we’re not discussing programmers.

Can you be a programmer and still love life? Of course you can. I don’t know how, but everyone has their own solution. Though I’m also anxious about my future—I don’t know how many more years I can stay in this industry, when I’ll become obsolete, what my income will be, what kind of life I’ll live, or how many layoffs await me. But this uncertainty brings so much excitement. Disappointment and excitement rise and fall like tides. This is what makes this industry special—risk and reward always come together.

Embrace more uncertainty. Embrace true passion. Use language to reorganize life. Love code, love programming, love structure and design patterns—but don’t become what people call a programmer.